Process
CHA PUBLICATION
In this poem, I explored my identity through personal historical events expressed in words. I found it a clear method of expression. It solidifies my practice. Why I have this longing for Tehran and how I am always in a state of otherness. I see this as an extension to my practice - a context into why I am interested in the subject that I am focusing all my energy on. I spoke to 2nd year painting tutor Raksha Patel I wanted her to review my poem in our art and social justice session she asked me what it was for and I told her. she said she is also going to be in the publication. She spoke about writing about a coffee table that has been in her family for a long time. Objects and our experiences with them. There is a richness in this publication all the different narratives from similar cultural backgrounds showing next to each other in this published physical book... different sides of the same coin. I feel like this will be an important thing for us. I want to talk about objects that are important to me too, but now I don't have to because it is being said.
This will be a physical publication and there was a mention of a potential exhibition and presentation for next year for all the participants to speak about their submissions and present their ideas. This will give me the opportunity to expand my network and share my ideas with colleagues and an audience who are interested in a similar subject matter to me.
The writing prompt was: What does browness mean to you?
Where do I Stand?
Sometimes I sit with my friends,
and I feel different to them,
It’s like, I’ve created this barrier for no reason.
I am British.
But I am not English,
I do belong,
But sometimes I don’t..
Sometimes I think my brother despised how easily I blended in,
Born in separate lands,
One of us in a war, the other in Lewisham.
Telling me tales of being chased by skinheads with the intent to kill,
He was only in year 7.
Now I live in the roads that hold the ghosts of his experience,
Sometimes I imagine his body zooming past me,
Jumping fences to out run these men who have been corrupted by fear,
Fear forged into hate,
Hate became violence.
Sometimes I fear I have the same hate inside me.
That was the 90’s.
In 2010, I moved back to England,
Proud of my heritage, I spoke of the greatness of the land which I had just left,
I became segregated by my own words,
Called a terrorist by my friends and their fathers.
But, it was all light hearted.
Revealing my roots,
Sprouted a pain in my heart,
Isolated from the present and my past,
My only refuge; my memories,
There I am not alone,
I am with my friends and my family.
Now I’m struggling to know where I stand.
Amongst all this noise I crave silence…
Are we creating our own shackles?
Are we prolonging this pain?
Are our current actions causing further division?
Would I feel differently if I felt I belong with no questions asked?
If my skin was more tanned,
More melanin,
Would I be excited to have my own group I could belong to,
to call my sisters?
Maybe I’m bitter,
The thing that saved me when I was young has now isolated me.
That thing being the colour of my skin.
THIS ART EXHIBITION
“This Art Exhibition” gave me the opportunity to show my work alongside my peers of different disciplines. I exhibited next to Lauren whom I collaborated with in Unit 1 and although our work was not in direct response to one another I noticed similarities in our colours and compositions and the fragmentation of the visual components. They spoke to each other and were of similar size.
I contributed by making the poster for the show. Something I am interested in pursuing as I grow as an artist and exhibit in more shows.
This exhibition has taught me how to exhibit. I have never publicly outside of the education system presented my work. It was exciting and stressful. I enjoyed seeing people interact with my work, I was able to assess the successful elements of my work whilst also getting an idea of how I could develop and improve it. It was important for me to see the size of my work in relation to other artworks from different disciplines.
I also had someone interested in buying my work. They mentioned that they had travelled to Iran previously and my work really reminded them of that trip. It was an amazing feeling to know that someone, not Iranian, could look at my work and know what it's about and draw connections to their own experiece from it.
Mine and Laurens work.
Podcasting with Lauren (watch this space)
Lauren and I have proposed to start a podcast talking about memory and art. So far our plan for the first session is to speak about 5/6 images we have chosen to describe our current practice. We will ask each other questions and try to break down the images for the audio listeners. We will also read each other's creative writing so that we can listen to it back from the expressions of each other.
This podcast has the potential to allow us to expand our research and practice into a new field. To get over not liking the sound of my own voice. To collaborate and grow in confidence.
Lauren's images
My images
Nazgol Ansarinia (watch this space too)
